This 8-Year-Old Russian Bitch Can Drive 60 MPH On Icy Russian Roads But For Some Reason No One In DC Can Drive Over 10 MPH The Second They See A Raindrop

raindrive

Police in St Petersburg have begun an investigation after Dmitry and Lena Mikulchik filmed their eight-year-old daughter Karina driving their Audi on what appears to be a public road.

This video posted online shows Karina passing another vehicle and reaching speeds of 100 km/h (60mph) as music blares out in the background.

Barely tall enough to see over the steering wheel, the girl can be heard telling her parents: “A child of eight can drive a car.”

Meanwhile her father, who is watching the speedometer, proudly remarks “one hundred kilometers per hour,” as Karina accelerates.

Despite the speed and the snowy conditions, neither Karina nor her parents appear to be wearing seatbelts. [Telegraph]

DC drivers are hands down the worst drivers in the country. For starters we’ve got people from all over the country living here. Jersey drivers, Masshole drivers, LA drivers, just absolutely anyone and everyone known for being shitty at driving. Then we’ve got that perfect mix of midatlantic climates where it’s just nice enough that nobody ever learns to drive in bad weather. The minute it starts raining or snowing you better hope you don’t have to drive anywhere because 22-year-old Jimmy Douchebag just started his new “consulting” job and doesn’t want you scratching his Volkswagon Jetta, so we’re topping out at 15 MPH all the way home motherfuckers.

So call me thin-skinned but these Russian assholes just rubbing this shit in my face showing off their 8-year-old kid who’s got a thousand times more balls than anyone in this city is not appreciated.  Like we get it Russia. Your president is a thousand times cooler than ours, you have kickass meteors blowing up in the sky all day long, and your 8-year-olds can drive in the snow. You’re a race of supermen. Congratulations. Meanwhile in DC there’s not a meteor in sight and I’m sitting in bumper to bumper traffic for four hours because someone thinks they saw a cloud. Oh and I still can’t grow a beard. Yup, just Russia rubbing it in my face again. Fucking Russia.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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