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Category Archives: Rants
A Brief Reminder That At The Worst Of Times, The Best In People Shines Through
I really didn’t want to dwell on this because it’s still a little overwhelming. I grew up in New England and I know what Patriots Day and Marathon Monday mean to everyone. I know too many people who were in … Continue reading
Posted in News, Rants
Tagged Boston, Boston Marathon, news, rants, terrorists, tragedy
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Who Would Be The Most Devastating Person To Turn Out To Be A Child Molester?
Something got me thinking about this today. There have been a lot of horrible stories in the news over the past decade or two about people like priests or teachers molesting kids. Nobody trust anyone who works with kids anymore. … Continue reading
Good Thing DC Is Completely Shut Down Today Or Else Some People Might Have Had To Drive To Work In A Quarter Inch Of Slush
As soon as there was any possibility of a snowstorm, everybody panicked. Everything in the city shut down before a single snowflake hit the ground. Of course the trouble is it hasn’t really bothered to snow, and half of DC has … Continue reading
The Seven Worst Types Of Drivers To Be Stuck In A Car With
Earlier today I did a blog about how Russian drivers are putting America to shame, and it got me thinking about some of the worst drivers I’ve ever been in a car with. I’m not saying I’m the greatest driver … Continue reading
The Official Falco Girl Scout Cookie Power Rankings
I got a shipment of girl scout cookies from my family yesterday because against all odds my mom still loves me. Just your standard fare of Thin Mints and Samoas and shit. But they also threw in a couple boxes … Continue reading
Are People Seriously Saying Patty Mayonnaise Wasn’t a Smoke?
So I took some shit yesterday for saying that I would fantasize about fucking Patty Mayonnaise on the bench at basketball games. People saying there were way hotter Nickelodeon girls than her and how it’s weird to want to fuck … Continue reading
Burger King’s Twitter Gets Hacked and Now I’m Wondering If I’m the Only One Who Actually Likes Burger King?
So Burger King’s Twitter got hacked today and everybody is just loving it and taking the opportunity to shit all over Burger King again. Between this and the horse meat scandal I’m kind of wondering if I’m the only person … Continue reading
Happy Presidents Day, This Is Your Reminder That Taft Was a Bullshit Choice for the Nationals’ Presidents Race
Presidents Day is one of the more bullshit holidays but I guess it’s also one of the most American. I mean the whole principle behind it is basically “eh we don’t have the energy for multiple birthdays, fuck it just … Continue reading
Top 10 Possible New Names for the Redskins
Every single year the media drums up the whole “Redskins should change their name” storyline and every single year it doesn’t matter because Dan Snyder still owns the team and if there’s one thing we know about the Dan Snyder … Continue reading
Serious Question: Do People Actually Watch the State of the Union?
I’ve been wondering this for a while. Every year I hear about State of the Union drinking games and Twitter blows up with everyone and their mother making jokes about whatever the fuck the president is saying and every year … Continue reading
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